Release on a New Moon
Making space for New.
There’s a new moon upon us but my body is still processing the release of the last full moon. Before the mind can move forward the body must first feel. I let a lot go in 2024. I’m leaving behind very foundational parts of my being. People and relationships, beliefs, ideas, identities. It is both liberating and terrifying. I do not know what’s coming. It is the ultimate test of faith to believe in the better despite the unknown of the present.
What is in front of me is what is no longer there. I am trying to envision what will come in it’s place. As humans it’s natural for us to want to fill a void quickly. I'm learning to not rush. To let empty space be empty space for a bit so that I am intentional with what and how I am replenishing. Who do I envision my new self, my new home to be. What does home need?
“You've been feeling lonely” my bodyworker commented.
“Yea my partner just moved out” I replied.
“You were feeling lonely long before that” she responded.
I am a person who enjoys solitude, sometimes to a fault. So to admit feeling lonely was hard. There is room for Grace though, always. I have lost many people in the recent years, to death, to life, to change. So my loneliness goes beyond the surface. It is showing up in my fascia, my body can no longer deny the pain and sadness it feels. I'm learning that the loneliness I am feeling is one that needs healing through witnessing, through acknowledgment.
“How often do you cry?” she asked.
“Not as often as I need to” I answered.
“It’s okay to release here. As long as you feel safe.”
Safe. There goes that word again. For so much of life in order to safely feel and cry I have had to be alone, away from home. Only a handful of times have I been held through my tears. Today, on the massage table, I wept. Wept because I was witnessed, I was felt, I was held. And it was safe to let go.
bell hooks said best, “Rarely, if ever, are any of us healed in isolation. Healing is an act of communion.”
In a conversation with a friend recently she mentioned in her grief it has been important for her to be in community with those that feel like kin. This sat with me, because kin is changing for me.
Who feels safe to you now? Who can you release to? Where does your body let go?
I ask myself these questions as I take notice of what my needs are. I invite you to do the same.
Wishing you all a slow end to 2024 and a warm start to 2025.
Until the next time, friends. Take good good care.
I Love You.
Grace.
This is so beautiful, I'm so glad you we able to be witnessed and held through your release. Sending love.