Letter to A Young Journeyer

From Me to Me and You

I wrote a letter to a high school student recently who is getting ready to embark on his next life chapter. As I was writing it, I realized I was also writing to myself. Past and present. Maybe, I was writing to you too.

Dear Young Journeyer,

You don’t know me and hopefully one day our paths will cross. While we may be years apart in age we are at similar crossroads in life. The last time I felt like this I was your age and getting ready to enter the next chapter of my life, not knowing what that chapter would be or if I was making the right choice. I’ve come to learn over the years there are no right or wrong choices, only choices and they each come with their own set of benefits and challenges. All you can do is trust that you are doing what is best with the information you have. The best advice I can give is make sure you are making the decision for you and not for anyone else, not to please anyone but you because you are the one who has to live with the decision. Enjoy your life and do what makes you smile.

Similar to you, I am also in a transition in my identity. Many knew me as Michelle, I now go by my middle name of Grace. There is a longer story to that but to make it short Grace feels like who I have been growing into my whole life and I have finally accepted and embraced that at the age of 32, soon to be 33. I rejected the name growing up, we often reject the things that are most true to us. My identity is becoming much more fluid, a confidence I am learning to embrace. I admire your authenticity and courage to be your full self at such a young age, despite how those around you, especially family, may feel about it. Your acceptance is your own, nobody else’s. If you can accept you then you have achieved the greatest battle.

As far as family goes, you can’t change them and that is the truth. Not in the timing you would want or need. People come around in their own time, it’s best not to force. That goes for any relationship. If you continue to focus on your own growth and healing, it heals those around you whether they realize it or not. And sometimes healing is accepting where people are and deciding how you want to engage with them based on where they are. These things are all easier said than done I realize and this takes time and practice. I’ve been going through it my whole life. Feeling unseen by the people closest to me, the love I desired the most. I had to learn that people show love in their own ways and sometimes it’s not the love we need but it doesn’t mean they love us any less.

As you move on, you get to decide what love is to you. In family, in friendship and in dating. That is the beauty of new beginnings and moving away from home. It can be scary to separate from all you have known and it can be liberating. It is all a matter of perspective. Life is all about perspective. On the days when you don’t feel like being on this Earth anymore, I want you to remember perspective and that you, at all times, are creating your reality. The pain is real, it is undeniable. And You, your spirit, is greater than your pain. I don’t have to know you to know and feel that. I was told that you wanted me to know that you are nice. I believe that in my soul and even more so I believe you are kind. Always be kind to anyone you meet. Kindness is your currency.

You are going to do so well in life. Trust in your steps, one at a time.

I am proud of you

Grace Brown