A Note on Intimacy
and the yearnings of the heart
in·ti·ma·cy: close familiarity or friendship; closeness
I’ve been yearning lately. For closeness, for intimacy. Being out on my own has shown me how much of a lifeline intimacy is for me. How much I value depth and closeness in relationships. Helps me understand why I yearn so much for the familiar even when it doesn’t always satisfy my needs. I have had to get better with intimacy with myself.
How intimate are you with yourself? How honest are you in the dark hours, in the quiet and in the stillness. When I was last home I saw where I learned disconnect. My mother does not know stillness, does not know quiet. She knows the tv, she knows busyness. It allows her to escape the reality of the day to day. She doesn’t share her personal life with anyone she says, “they will use it against you.”. I’ve had this happen on several occasions. Recently actually. Where I shared the unpleasant parts of this journey with people I thought were safe and it turns out they weren’t. My mother’s words rang “they will use it against you.”. In the past this would have shut me down, kept me from being open again but I can’t live my life like that. I’ve tried it and it creates dis ease in my body.
“Love is who you are” someone once told me. “It is natural to you.”
I am an open heart. A tender being. A soft place. How can you be soft landing if you are hard on yourself? If you have created an inner environment that is shut off from it’s own heart? It’s own blood flow. Life needs passion, it needs emotion, it needs intimacy. That need is innate, ancestral.
To me intimacy is truth. It is being vulnerable enough to share what is real. To listen to the ache of your heart and ask it where it hurts. To be with the stillness of your spirit and hear it’s call. To bear witness the expression of your soul to understand it’s longing. To quiet your mind so your dreams can come through.
The more intimate I am with myself the easier it is to open to others and to make space for their heart as well.
To be with the heart of another is to be present with your own.
Be gentle, friends and go with care.
Grace
💓